Should We punch people on the Nose?

("Typical example of the eruption column demonstration, taken from the 4th floor of Lathrop Hall, on the Colgate University campus.")

You know how you sometimes tell someone to go to hell and fuck you I hope you die get away from me and you barely have the restraint, or maybe you're just too tired from yelling, restraint to quit your fist from hitting him on the nose? I thought that's how I felt about Colgate. The place was a rotting, minatory corpse of a place. It bled Nantucket red and smelled like Keystone Light. The faculty were recidivist masturbators: too old not to spit ashes in your face, or too young to listen. But then... ?

Well you move on and all those feelings stay where they were. They were the product of your particular age-location feeling-matrix. They aren't you now; they were you then. And maybe you're a pussy, but you think maybe you were wrong. And you can't just go punching people on the nose all the time because they'll throw you in jail with all the pederasts and gruel cadgers. And anyway, everything was pretty good then. You still loved bands, and books were nice and smelled like novelty. And people never asked you about New Age topics; and metaphysics was something Aristotle wrote about. But when you did read Aristotle, you were lectured by professors; tutors didn't moderate a bullshit discussion. Because that shit is some brokedown, poor excuse for an education. And fuck that. They're all great books, so you can go to hell, too.

(Model trains.)

In concussion: we here at IDFNBGAW think you should go punching people on the nose. And Santa Fe, you're next.

Tell me What it Look Like

(Image courtesy of Oklahoma's OK.gov site)

It looks like we're getting a desk job. So, you know. More blogging.

Facebook = Real Fucker, Funny as Well

Facebook can be a real fucker sometimes. We used to know him back when he had a definite article, like, back when he wasn't as cool and shit. Now he's all stuck up. There won't be an official IDFNBGAW facebook page (but you loyal fans can make tribute pages, if you feel that way and, you know, live in your parent's basement coming up for air only so long as it takes to grab another bag of Dorito Cooler Ranch; quickly descend; and log back into World of Warcraft or read blogs or write blogs or whatever.)

However, and this is a big "however," facebook can be pretty funny, too. While we tried (kind of unsuccessfully) to create an official IDFNBGAW profile, we had to fill in one of those "I'm not a spambot" word verification boxes.

As you can see to the left, facebook asked us to type in "booby country" in order to prove we're not some sort of spambot.  In all fairness to spambots, though, they are also pretty good at creating phrases like "booby country."

OS X 10.5 Leopard Review Metaview

We love all things technology here at IDFNBGAW.  And as such, we're providing a little Review Metaview of OS X 10.5 Leopard.

The yellow arrow points to the new translucent menu bar.  Everyone hates it.

The blue arrow points to the new 3-D dock.  Everyone hates it.

Time Machine.

The Worst Blogger Ever

Pictured to the left is the worst blogger ever. There is a subtle yellow arrow pointing at him.

Some of you may know him as the curator of Blastings Thrilledge, a blog devoted (slavishly, fellatio-ly even) to Lastings Milledge, a third-tier scrub prospect of the New York Metropolitans/rapper.

Some of you may ask, "Why is this person the Worst Blogger Ever?" and that's a valid question. Some of you may even say, "He seems like quite the fledgling naturalist; and we all know that naturalists are all-right fellows."


Well we at IDFNBGAW are here to remind you of Darwin--God-hating, monkey-loving Darwin. He wasn't an all-right fellow, now was he? No: He killed God and had sex with monkeys. And this blogger is cut from the same cloth!




















Here you can see the blogger cradling a pretty little butterfly in his hand. Quite the speculative naturalist, right? This touching shot seems to convince you that he cares about the butterfly, and that, therefore, he is a good person--and by extension a good, i.e., not the Worst Ever, blogger.




And then only moments later, he crushes the butterfly like the Satan-loving naturalist bastard he is. And that, QED, is why this man is the Worst Blogger Ever.

Rookie of the Year, Best New Blog

Best New Blog = IDFNBGAW!


We couldn't resist, so we took this "screen grab" with our camera phone.

A quick explanatory note. All images on IDFNBGAW (except where noted, i.e., the header picture) are taken by us--c'est nous--on our camera phone. These beauties are property of us here at IDFNBGAW.




So here's a song from Ween's latest album, The Cockroach. We find it reminiscent of that fine tune "You Fucked Up," with a dash of "It's Gonna Be a Long Night." And speaking of "dashes," how much is a dash? We've been getting into Manhattans around here, which call for a dash of bitters. (It's not a Manhattan if you don't dash in the bitters, obvs.) So sometimes we put in, like, three or four shakes; and other times we put in just, like, one or two. It all tastes basically the same because we use that $8 rye that you pick up at the gas station. But for sake of argument, how much is a dash? Or a jigger? What the fuck. Are bartenders like 15c. sovereigns who got to make up units of measurement by means of whim and fancy? "Oh, an Earl will be the length of my big toe. And 3 Lancastshires shall be the amount of time it takes my dogs to run down a fox." Is that how the bartenders came up with their ridiculous measures? "Dude, I bet you won't drink a jigger of my piss!" "How did you come up with Jigger?" "Well, after I took a leak, I jiggered my dick off into this little cup, and that's how much a jigger is!" I bet that's how the jigger was invented. Anyway, yeah.

Rookie of the Year, Best New Blogger

We know that Best New Blogger seems to indicate the person making the blog rather than the blog itself (the classic blogger V. blogged distinction, which hinges on the anti-realistic, idealistic worldview first popularized by Heraclitus, fucker); however, if the award were for Best New Blog, then we couldn't run this picture.

Pretty sexy, right?  So that's us (us=me).  We're Best New Blogger.  Thank you, hold the applause.

B O N U S F E A T U R E

The Black Kids are by far the most impressive instantiation of the 2007 indie-roller-disco movement.  I think some of the kids in the band are even black.  This is they're best song, the chorus sticks in your head like chewing gum.

Hurricane Jane (from their Wizard of Ahhhhs demo.)  Good, apparently, until 3 December.